The only thing more interesting than a story about another person is a story about our own self.
Why is this so?
Because, naturally, most of us are more interested in reading about ourselves than reading a condensed history of the ten most famous people who ever lived.
This is the natural way of human behaviour and there doesn’t seem to be any indication that this is suddenly about to change.
DFQ #07:
In 100 words or less, post a story about yourself.Focus on your Top Strength from DFQ#6 and think of an amusing story that illustrates, or derives from, your top strength.
As you think about this story, recall some details about the setting, the people involved, the provocation and the ‘punch line’ or the outcome.
Don’t feel the need to interpret the story or comment too much on it–just tell it!
We are your devoted audience. Make it a good one 🙂
(NOTE: I realise this is a bit like karaoke and asks you to step-up. But if this DFQ is not for you, no problem, just skip it. All SOT training (even leadership training) is opt-in/opt-out).
Vitality: a zest for life, an energy to be used and want to be around, a positive bonus to the way I live and how I am seen, part of achievement, involvement. It has ruled me all my life. Kept my feet firmly on the ground, stopped me from sitting on my backside doing nothing, pushed me to attain more, swept me towards meeting and discovering new places, new people. It is a strength that has carried me through all sorts of situations, sharing joyous occasions, managing sad ones, sliding through illness and embracing fitness. It is the ingredient in my life that melds everything else together. It in the ingredient that makes a project team work well together, brings out the intelligence in people and creativity in others. I don’t know life without it because it has always been there. Even recently when I feared I would loose it whilst ill, it remained beside me and carried me through. I love people with it and try to build it in others. I can’t write to you about one story because it is just a part of me that encompasses all about me.
Perspective is in my top 5. This is the story of how I think I got it (if indeed I do have it!).
I grew up in an english-hippy community in conservative, nationalistic, rural Wales where many of the original ‘alternatives’ from the 1960’s went to make their homes and be self-sustainable (a more inhospitable host community they could not have chosen!). Most ended up divorced and there also grew a very strong feminist movement whihc my mum embraced. We moved through CND marches, Glastonbury, Greenham common protests and women’s rights newsletters.
We were shielded from nothing and encouraged to be activists ourselves – such as striking until the school allow girls to wear trousers if they wished! We were taken to late night ‘gigs’ where the kids would run wild and the parents would get stoned. Drugs were common. Mostly dope among our parents generation. Although I don’t remember my mum smoking much, she did once sit us down and tell us that it was possible that her name would be in the paper because she’d been arrested for possession (not much happened in that town!) and talked to us about how to talk to friends about it.
As I grew up many of my english peers moved increasingly into the drugs scene. I did not. From what I did try (magic mushrooms grew at the bottom of the school playing field – the teachers didn’t find out for years), I just couldn’t see the attraction and what I saw it do to some people really bothered me.
When I went to university, I found that I was suddenly in an environment where 18 year olds had been set free from parental control and were all experimenting like mad with drugs.
People used to give me a hard time about why I didn’t want to take ecstasy – didn’t I know how great it was and why was I so ‘square’? People were going to Glastonbury festival for the first time and couldn’t understand why I wasn’t interested.
I’d grown up going to Glastonbury, had seen it change from a bunch of mellow hippies in a field to the multi million dollar, celeb-ridden event it became. I was angry that the very type of people who had given me a hard time at school for being a hippie and looked down at me for my parents ‘alternative’ lifestyle, were now ten years later adopting a pretence at that lifestyle without understanding what it was really originally about at all.
Knowing nothing about me, someone said to me something like “you’re such a square – you just don’t understand how cool it is!”
My response was pretty scathing to say the least. I felt like I’d been there, done that and made my own informed decisions. But once again I was somehow the odd one out – just from a completely reversed perspective.
I was taught through childhood to have another perspective.
For anyone who got to the end of this self-indulgent ramble which is a lot of fun, I’m amazed! Thank you!
Creativity and an Appreciation of Beauty are in my top 5 strengths.
The scene: My partner and I opened a cafe in the exclusive suburb of Apgujung, Seoul selling imported swiss chocolate and churros. The cafe only ever boke even. We closed the doors and sold the site to a 7-11 store 2 years after opening. But while we were open……
Winter in Seoul is a magical time, its usually minus 15 centigrade for a couple of months but the skies are clear and the air is crisp. I loved watching people in our cafe, the snow would be falling outside, inside we would be playing bossanova with the heating on. One day the wind was howling the snow was falling sideways and we had no customers until the door opened and a woman entered. I was in shock! It was as though a Korean version of Edith Piaff had entered our cafe. She wore a thick full length black fur coat, diamonds, a hat with a netted front. She was quite timid and nervous and she had applied her lipstick so generously that it was outside the line of her lips. She bought one chocolate sat down and tasted it. With a gasp she stood, returned to the counter ordered another chocolate and ate it. She then put her hat back on and left.
I will always remember this woman because she was beautiful, eccentric, polite and liked my chocolate……………..but most importantly she carried with her a presence that i cant explain and will never forget.
Creativity
I was approx 8, I was with my friends, brothers Neil and Graeme. I had lost my rabbit which had disappeared from the rabbit cage overnight a few week prior. We were near a house owned by Tommy Ash and he used it as a weekender. It was just across the street from my parent’s home.
We saw a rabbit run into a burrow surrounded by long dry grass. I thought ah! my bunny. I had the great thought may be we could smoke the rabbit out of its burrow. So got some Redhead matches and plucked out some of the dry grass and put it in front of the burrow, set it alight and guess what, the fire started to spread real fast. Before we knew it the flames were as high as we were and it was getting bigger by the second.
My Mum would visit Pam, my friend’s Mum, we first ran into my place Mum was at the boy’s house. The flames were growing, we tore through the yard next door to Pam’s house yelling at the top of our voices “Tommy Ash’s yard is on fire, Tommy Ash’s yard is on fire.”
Well our respective parents did not believe us, then as we stood there saying “yes it is, yes it is!” they saw the smoke billowing above the houses.
We all ran, to “Tommy Ash’s” as we got to our street Mum told me to go inside our house and ring the Fire Brigade. I ran in and we had one of those old wind the handle phones. Not sure of what to say the operator said “who do you want” and I replied “Tommy Ash’s is on fire, we need the Fire Brigade” I was asked the address and I gave the address of my house.
Meanwhile, all the parents, Mums, Dad, older brothers, older sisters were all trying to beat out the flames and by this time the fire was getting very close to the rather well seasoned weather board home. Our parent were working furiously to try to stop the fire from setting the house on fire.
Before the Fire truck arrived we saw and very frightened rabbit make a dash for it – like lightening, there was no hope of catching it and it wasn’t my rabbit either.
It seemed like and eternity and finally we heard the screech of the siren coming in the distance from the fire engine. It arrived and fortunately the fire had not made it to the house (mind you it was really close). Very soon the fire was out.
It made big news in our local paper including information about the smoking out of rabbits!!
One of my strengths is definitely my sense of humor.
This goes back to my wild high-school years, when me and my mates were looking to amuse ourselves.
I found on the street a chicken leg(yes the one we use for soup :-)), I took it and went back inside our high-school, went and opened the classroom’s doors, stuck my hand inside the classroom holding the chicken’s leg and shouting : ” Teacher, I know the answer, it’s me: Mr. Chicken!”
After which, usually the teacher would try to catch us, but we were holding the door from the outside until she would give up.
To this day , I am still amazed thinking to the rebellious acts that we were doing back then and I still find this story hilarious.
I am an Introvert. Avid student of the mind/brain/thoughts.
It is supposed to be a kindness story.
Well, one summer I noticed a toad in our back yard. May be because I have lived my entire life in the big cities, I find all the animals are amazing creatures, and I was glad we got a new little friend.
The toad spent with us the whole summer, and it seemed it came to listen to our conversations when we were sitting outside. So we gave him a name Toad.
When the cold weather came, Toad did not leave our yard, and we bought a big aquarium for him and he became our pet.
100 words or less to build a self reflecting story on a strenght, curiosity…
It was another boring day at school and the teacher was repeating her boring stories. After realizing I wasn´t paying as much attention as the group, she asked me. Is anything bothering you?
After this question I could only say, Yes, can two plus two be five?
Teacher´s reaction was fast, in a mad rage, shouting, she took me out of the class and I was taken to the director´s office.
After listening to their conversation for long time, both of them looked at me quite angry. The director asked. Why did you do that?
I just wanted to know.
Love of learning
I had always thought that I was the only person in my family that was interested in our history. Mind you I seemed always to love history and have a fascination with biographies and autobiographies from as I long as I can remember. As a young child I always had my nose in book and would often read all night – when I got into a story I really liked.
In my early twenties I started to read lots of books on self help and how to improve myself in respect to business and in my personal development.
It seemed I was always restless – searching for something – my mother said I was like my father whom spent his life at sea until his death when I was 18 – i couldn’t settle.
His death upset me a lot I was just getting to know him and he was gone & I was looking forward to getting to know him better.
Still I kept on reading – still kept exploring – looking for something – when I completed my tertiary studies I started looking for something else to study. After a flirtation with the law I started on improving my business advising skills doing numerous short courses – that led me into doing a Masters In Marketing. I came to the conclusion that Accountants in Public practice like me weren’t equipped to advise properly due to lack of understanding in this field. Currently I am doing my Masters In Innovation and learning the guitar, how to market using social media, how to sing and hypnotherapy.
I have also researched my family history and hold family photos going back four generations.
Recently I felt like re-reading a few books that I had particularly enjoyed just so I could see them through my re-educated eyes.
Dawkins “The God Delusion” Pinker “How the mind Works” and Cleese and Skynner “How families work” just seemed like that as did a new book “Accidentally Overweight” by Dr Libby Weaver. It was interesting that in the latter book I was instructed to think about why I do things ( in the context of opening a fridge to eat when I didn’t need too ) Lots of things popped into my head about things that had upset me when I was child. When you look at them now – they were trivial – but they were obviously important at the time.
So why do I love learning? History, Family, A sense of loss, not really knowing my father, trying to please my mother and father? I’ll leave the conclusion to you – perhaps its a combination of them all or just part of the chain of life.
However, I ‘m living inside this bag of flesh and most probably can’t nail it down to one thing but then that’s a PTV search anyway isn’t it & I don’t do them any more.
I just enjoy my children and grand children a lot!
Persistence
Mountain climbing was not something I ever thought possible for me. I had seen and heard stories about the great climbers and their amazing feats. Not something an ordinary person could do, at least that used to be my belief.
When travelling through South America I set myself the challenge to complete a mountain climb. Cotopaxi, 5897m, in Ecuador a truly monster climb. It was a snow climb too, which just increased the difficulty. It became my goal. When I stood atop that mountain I would be successful.
When I start the climb all was well. But shortly after leaving base camp I began to feel the effects of altitude sickness. Altitude sickness can affect people in different ways. I had never experienced it before but on that night it started to affect me greatly. Nausea and stomach cramps were the worst for me, along with headaches and general fatigue. The only way to stop it is to return to a lower altitude. But i had a goal, I wasn’t about to turn back having only just started.
The symptoms got worse, after about 3 hours climbing I had to stop about every 30-40 with stomach cramps. I would have to stop on the side of a mountain wincing in pain. But I pushed on. The cramps got worse, stopping every 20 minutes, then every 15, then every 10 minutes.
At one point I lost a glove. I managed to drop it while taking a drink. I watched it as it bounced down a 70 degree incline into the white snowy abyss. At the time I wasn’t overly upset but I was soon to realise the importance of your equipment. The cold wasn’t the worst, it was the wind chill that made it tough. To keep my hands warm I would transfer the glove I had left from hand to hand every 10 minutes or so. It helped a little but eventually I lost the feeling in the tops of my fingers. (It took 3 months after I came down to get the feeling back fully). All this just added to the torture I was going through.
About 1 ½ hours from the summit we stopped for a break. My guide looked at me and asked was I ok (he later told me he was considering taking me off the mountain at that point). But when he asked me that question something flipped in my mind.
I wasn’t ok, he could see that clearly, but I looked at him, and said the following words in a way he knew I meant it: “I will get to the flipping top”. Only I didn’t use the word flipping, I use a much stronger word at the time. And when I said it something happened in my mind. I was almost ready to give up. I really didn’t want to be on that mountain. I knew the minute I went down I would start to feel better but something stopped me from doing it. I felt I need to persist.
From that moment on I knew I would make it. All I could see in my mind was a picture of myself standing on top of the mountain. The only words I said were “I will get to the f***ing top”. I said it out loud, I think my guide thought I was gone a little mad. Step after step I took, repeating the words over and over. The vision was clear in my mind.
It impossible to describe now, how i felt, but even though I was in tremendous pain, the worst feeling I had ever experienced, I didn’t feel the pain you normally would. I just didn’t give it any focus. The only think I my mind was standing on top of the mountain. It was the greatest clarity of thought I have ever experienced. No other thought entered my head.
And then finally, after 7 hours walking, up 5897m I stood on top of the mountain. I had persist and I had achieved. It is something I always remember when things aren’t going well. Persist, because sometimes success is just around the corner. All you need to do is focus on the next step, one by one, one foot in front of the other. Eventually you will reach your goal.